Reflect on Revised Essay

Marinda Hsu

English 

Ms. Guarino

2016.02.24

Reflection on revised essay

  My essay is already starting off to have a shape, direction and I had made a plan what to include in each prographs so the analysis could be clear and equal for both plots. First if all in my revision, I fixed a few grammar errors and ofcourse I included quotes since I didn't have any quotes for the first draft to support my statements. I read over some sentences and changed it because my classmates have told me throughout their revised on my essay that they thought some sounded weird and difficult to understand. I think my classmates' revision and reminder on my paragraphs were really helpful, because it is a little bit more difficult for myself to find errors. Therefore, I took their advice and added a few stronger statements supporting my thesis on the last paragraph for the revision this time. On the other hand, I also need to revise and reorganize my essay more for the final draft. This is how I plan to organize the essay—First paragraph with tan interesting hook, strong thesis and a little bit summary and analysis on the similarities on the novel Me and You and on the film Like Stars on Earth. Second paragraph will be specifically about the analysis with supportive quotes about Like Stars on Earth telling Ishaan (main character)'s situation and change. Third paragraph will be focusing on the analysis of the novel Me and You describing Lorenzo (main character)'s situation and change throughout the events in story. For the fourth paragraph, it will most likely contain a lot if analysis and most of the analysis for the essay comparing and contrasting both characters' change and how, what made them changed.  For the final conclusion paragraph, I want it to be strong with evidences from both stories supporting my opinion that love has the power to change through out its' act of caring and understanding. I think connecting direct quotes from the story is a little bit difficult and it is also difficult for me to write more analysis through out the events, I often start off writing too much summary. Also another weakness I has is that i always accidentally start being repetitive while writing.